Friday, June 28, 2013
It is 2:30am. And as I lay here on the couch next to my sweetly sleeping milk parasite I cannot sleep. I keep replaying my day and trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Do you think its possible for a person to become "full" of grief? To experience so much sadness that they are no longer affected by it heavy tread? When I lost my mother to her own hand in 2003 I was crushed. Left with the usual "what ifs" and anger that suicide produces. When I lost my father to medical complications in 2006 I was destroyed. It took time and therapy and the love of my Hubby, sister, and close friends to bring back my light. Now I measure every loss against that pain. And while one day I'm sure to cross that threshold of hell it isn't today. Today I found out one of my fathers brothers was brutally murdered. And all I can muster is, he is in a better place. How hollow is that? All day my phone rang and my facebook popped and everyone wants to know if im ok. So while I lay here unable to produce the proper response I will slow tomorrow down. I will take the time to love and cherish my girls. To build our life with the happiest memories I can. So whenever that pain does come again, to myself or my girls, we have a deep well of love to draw from and soothe our tender hearts until we are all together again. Now I will close my eyes and try to dream of three reunited brothers riding their horses over the last mountain together.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
I have a new obsession. To have a picket fence. We have little money to put into this endeavor so I set my Pinterest sights on some DIY versions. Since we live in the middle of Emerald Triangle, a refurbished pallet fence seemed like my best option. The small community we live in has four feed and garden stores, so I loaded up my Midgets and away we went to scavenge there free pallet piles. I love my truck. It took a lot of convincing to even get some slimy over paid used car dealer to sell me a 4X4 but boy oh boy does Baby get some use. Now that I have ferreted away almost 25 pallets I can start to work on the fun part. I measured out the small area by our garden and play area that we use the most and I have my work cut out for me. 200ft of it. At 4 foot long pallet picket slates goes that's a grand total of at least 50 of these dirty heavy suckers that I am going to have to deal with. But oh boy is it going to be worth it. I found this great tutorial on youtube that breaks down the process beautifully. So far I have cut and disassembled 8 picket slates so far. In two days. All by myself. With TWO KIDS UNDER TWO. Its the chicken poop you see. Since we have wonderful free range chickens for meat and eggs we have a large amount of chicken poop. Everywhere. Its DISGUSTING . One day soon I foresee an area free of chicken manure and flies, where my children can crawl on the ground or on the picnic table and not be covered in feces. On that note I will leave you folks for this week. with one last parting shot of cuteness....