Sunday, July 31, 2011
We took Bug to the ocean for the second time. The first she slept. But this time she was awake and aware of everything. It has been close to 100 degrees here and with the teething I admit defeat. So hubby took a day off work and we went to the ocean. Bug loved it!. It was overcast, and cold. She loved wAtching me feed the seagulls my french fries, they got so close to her. And all she wanted to do was eat the sand when we went down to the beach. Baby, teething and sand do not mix. But I got some great pics of her and her daddy that I will never forget.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I just completed my first fresh blackberry cobbler. After hubby got home from work I was at my wits end with my fussy Bug. So I loaded up the truck with board planks. A step ladder. Big bowl. Long sleeve shirt. And most importantly beer. Went the 6 miles down our dirt road to where the pavement begins and there is a huge ripe patch of blackberries. I was only gone for an hour and a half but I collected enough sweet berries to make two cobblers and a pie. Plus a little extra so Bug could experience this little piece of heaven for the first time. She's not to sure about all the seeds but she loves the juice. Her whole toothless mouth was black and cute. It's amazing how just that little bit of time by myself was enough to make me miss my family and reset my inner clock. I need to make a habit of taking a little time for myself now and again if only for the fact it makes me a happier mommy to my Bug. And the look of love and adoration on her face when I walk back in the door melts my heart.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
We wake up, have a little cuddle and giggle, then I strap her into a bounce chair while she watches classical baby. It gives me time to make coffee, feed the dogs and cats, and wash a few dishes. Then we settle down on Tue couch for her breakfast and I read the news. We read a book, then she goes down for her nap. I pick up the living room and eat scrambled eggs. She wakes up and we go down to the garden to water and see what's blooming maybe pull a few weeds and let her play with the windchime. We feed and play with the chickens. Spray each other with the hose then come inside out of the hot sun. Bug has some tummy time while I fold clothes and sing her songs. I break out the bubbles and she watches them float around her in awe. Down for another nap while I try to figure something out for dinner. I'm hate cooking. It's been so hot its bbq again. Daddy gets home and I get to take a long shower before I give her a bath and she has some time with daddy . They rock and sing in the glider. He reads her curious George. Then its bedtime for her while hubby and I talk about our day. Maybe play some cards and then we turn in for the night. We don't accomplish much but I have never been happier.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I'm dying. Slowly. Painfully. The life is being ripped from my chest by a 15 lbs blue eyed wailing ball of tears. I wake up in the morning look at the clock and start to count the hours and minutes until her first nap. When I must lay her in her crib and walk out of the room while she reaches for me and screams. Big crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks. It takes about eight minutes of screaming and the baby monitor goes silent. The occasional sobbing hiccup the only noise. And I look at the clock and count the hours and minutes until I must start the battle all over again. Everyone keeps telling me how proud they are and honestly when I hear this I want to junk punch them in their man business. It's only a natural part of childhood I hear. LIARS! I am the mommy. If this was natural I would feel it. Breastfeeding is natural. Making her smile and laugh is natural. THIS IS NOT! It goes against every mothering instinct I have. And if things couldn't get worse, now that Bug thinks I'm torturing her she is on a potty training strike. We were so close. Down to four diapers a day. I guess the moral of the story is there's only one way to go from the rock bottom. Up. And now I will quit focusing on the negitive and count the minutes until she wakes up, realizes I'm waiting right by her crib, and gives me the biggest toothless smile and my heart mends itself just a little.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Wow, my first blog how exciting! This is the week that my husband and I (mostly him) decided we want our bed back. We spent a lot of hard earned money on a queen temperpedic mattress a couple years ago not thinking of kids or cosleeping and frankly my family has outgrown it. We received a beautiful and expensive crib as a present from fairy godmother when we found out I was expecting our little bug. She is now 5 1/2 months and will not sleep in it. Ever. We call her the velcro baby which is fine with me after 4 days of labor (YES 4 WHOLE DAYS) and an emergency csection I'm just happy she loves me. But my hubby wants like room to rollover in his bed and selfishness like that, so we are trying a modified version of the cry it out. Basically its called that because the whole time she is awake and screaming I'm setting on the couch crying hysterically. 1st day she never stopped crying. after an hour of straight crying for both of us I admit defeat and took her to bed with me. 2nd day after 45 min she went to sleep, less then an hour later and cried until I picked her up. 3rd night cried for 50min but stayed asleep for two hours. Lasting she fell asleep in under 5 min and stayed asleep for five hours people. I cannot believe how hard this has been on me. It makes me feel like the worst mother, and so selfish and mean. But it will get easier right? It has to.