Sunday, October 30, 2011

Little House on the Hilltop

It's all coming together. I love our little house. I always have. But it was just that little. Maybe even tiny. Hubby built it with his own two hands and we always planned to add on later. The day I found out I was preggo with Bug he started plans. Realistic plans. Doubling our home from a mere 500sq ft to 1000. When I went into labor he had accomplished the shell and Windows. Oh MY WINDOWS! Prisoners have bigger Windows then I in the original house. But I hunted for at least three hours at a window boneyard and found not only matching huge Windows but a sliding glass door as well. So proud! After Bug came he quickly finished all electrical, plumbing, painting and we moved in floors be damned. In the last couple of weeks my wonderful Hubby built a river rock hearth built with rocks we collected trying to push me into labor, sea shells from our first date, and then we cemented bugs foot into the perfect spot. My father in law welded us a gorgeous cast iron fireplace. And then we picked out redwood flooring. He has worked so hard. And our dream is almost complete. Our house grows as our family does. We have provided a stable loving home for our daughter all the while maintain our loving relationship. I dont know how I got so lucky. Maybe soon we will have to plan another addition for a new little Bug, here's to keeping our fingers crossed.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Catching Up

Whew! I was starting to worry I would never find the time and energy to write again. But here I am. So much has happened this month I don't really know where to start. Bug now has three teeth. All bottom front ones. She got them all at the same time. She had every symptom I have ever read that babies get. I'm talking no sleep, cranky, fever of 102, diarrhea, her first ever diaper rash. Basically mommy hell. But I pushed through it, trusted my instincts, ignored all the oh my god your babys sick go to the ER now. And we came through. Bug is also full on crawling. Cruising along anything she can get her hands on. And CLIMBING! Wtf. Only a stubborn child of my loins would try to climb things before she can walk. This means I have spent most waking hours covering light sockets, moving things up a shelf or three, and basically rescuing my girl from whatever perch she gets herself onto. She is also saying a clear mummum now. So freakin cute. Hubby is a little, ok a lot, jealous. His main goal in life is teaching her about dada now. I also tried going back to work and no matter how much water I drank or how often I pumped my milk started drying up. In like 3 days I could only pump 2 ounces total. So I headed to my local health store bought some fenugreek and mothers love more milk plus. I have to take 18 pills a day, my body, urine, and baby smell like maple syrup now (yum in a weird way) but I have more milk then i did before I went to work. Talked it over with Hubby and we aren't ready to wean yet and I don't want to take any chances so I'm back home now for the foreseeable future. But he also has some down time right now so we are getting a lot done on our home. Yippy! Today he put together over half of our new rock fireplace hearth. Beautiful. The rocks were collected from family land while I was over due with Bug. We were hoping the manual labor would push me over the edge. Nope. I also scattered in some of the sea shells he and i collected on our first date. Plus we left a little spot blank and cemented Bugs foot forever onto our mantle. So freakin cute. I am getting sleepy and Bug will wake soon so I will end here for now. I will try to get back here more often.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

To Work or Not to Work That is The Question

Before my Bug came along I had my own house cleaning business. We live in a small close nit community and I did well. I made my own hours, was my own boss, and I had a full clientele of people I felt were in genuine need of my service. Not just lazy sobs. I put all that on hold when I was pregnant and after much debate with Hubby we decided we would rather he work full time in construction and carpentry and have me home with Bug. Being home all the time was such a change.I have had at least a part time job my whole life since I was 14. If not a full and part time while going to school. After a while at home I thought I would go insane but with summer came vegetable gardening, hiking, swimming, picnics, days at the beach. You get the idea. Plus I was able to breastfeed on demand. Cloth diaper. Wear my baby. Attachment parenting in my own crazy way. It's worked out very well for us. But this week it started to rain. Ugh. And in passing conversation I mentioned to Hubby that a couple of my clients have called and wanted me to come back. Enough clients to provide a full half week of work. And I have to admit I'm tempted. I could pay all my own bills again. Supporting myself has always been of the utmost importance to me because let's face it my parents never could support themselves. I take pride that all my bills are paid in full and on time if not early. And to be able to do this myself is the cherry on my sunday. Hubby pointed out we do have his parents who are willing to take Bug on the days i would work. But its not the same. I look at her and try to picture what our days would be like and I know they love her but they don't love her like me. Honestly Hubby and in-laws just dont get my parenting. I constantly hear how I'm spoiling her. I'm to quick to feed for comfert. I don't allow her to just cry it out. Just wait you will cave eventually they say. Bug is 33 weeks tomorrow. There is no caving. My question is how do I let go? I have to return to work sooner or later. Do I get her used to people not jumping the second she needs something? Or do I trim my budget and pride, let Hubby cover our expenses and raise my daughter the way I see fit?