Saturday, October 1, 2011

To Work or Not to Work That is The Question

Before my Bug came along I had my own house cleaning business. We live in a small close nit community and I did well. I made my own hours, was my own boss, and I had a full clientele of people I felt were in genuine need of my service. Not just lazy sobs. I put all that on hold when I was pregnant and after much debate with Hubby we decided we would rather he work full time in construction and carpentry and have me home with Bug. Being home all the time was such a change.I have had at least a part time job my whole life since I was 14. If not a full and part time while going to school. After a while at home I thought I would go insane but with summer came vegetable gardening, hiking, swimming, picnics, days at the beach. You get the idea. Plus I was able to breastfeed on demand. Cloth diaper. Wear my baby. Attachment parenting in my own crazy way. It's worked out very well for us. But this week it started to rain. Ugh. And in passing conversation I mentioned to Hubby that a couple of my clients have called and wanted me to come back. Enough clients to provide a full half week of work. And I have to admit I'm tempted. I could pay all my own bills again. Supporting myself has always been of the utmost importance to me because let's face it my parents never could support themselves. I take pride that all my bills are paid in full and on time if not early. And to be able to do this myself is the cherry on my sunday. Hubby pointed out we do have his parents who are willing to take Bug on the days i would work. But its not the same. I look at her and try to picture what our days would be like and I know they love her but they don't love her like me. Honestly Hubby and in-laws just dont get my parenting. I constantly hear how I'm spoiling her. I'm to quick to feed for comfert. I don't allow her to just cry it out. Just wait you will cave eventually they say. Bug is 33 weeks tomorrow. There is no caving. My question is how do I let go? I have to return to work sooner or later. Do I get her used to people not jumping the second she needs something? Or do I trim my budget and pride, let Hubby cover our expenses and raise my daughter the way I see fit?

1 comment:

  1. Misty,

    It's really a tough choice.. I see the up side of both. And the down side to both.

    The nice thing is if you went back to work you would be able to leave her with family instead of stranger so you know her emotional and physical needs would be met. I've not always had that option and ran into some really not great babysitters.

    This to would be good for her, because you don't want her so attached to you that you will never be able to leave her presences and that it will cause emotional harm if you go somewhere with out her. And yet she'd be able to make a bond with her grandparents. As she gets older this would give her a support system and another ear to listen to her.

    Being a stay at home mom to Colt since he was 1 has been rewarding and challenging but my biggest worry has been his over attachment to me.. I feared him being a mommy's boy because I was the only one who could calm him down or take care of him.

    With only going back part time, not having to worry that the people taking care of Bug will provide everything, your giving her a chance to grow, and yourself a break, not to mention piece of mind that you have the financial backing you crave... Why not start out slow add a house at a time until you feel the right balance.. weather it's 1 house or 4?

    Give it a shot, if you or bug can't handle it at least you gave it a try and you won't look back and say I should have...

    It's not easy leaving your child I just cried today as my youngest got on the bus for his first half day at school... it's not easy but you can do it.